I was walking through the family room a few days ago while Kathy was watching a movie about Queen Victoria. Not really my cup of tea.  (No pun intended.)

But I overheard a line from the movie that caught my attention.  Someone giving advice to the young queen told her she was “confusing stubbornness with strength.”  I thought that was a pretty profound statement.

We generally think of a weak person as someone who gives in.  No one wants to appear weak.  Therefore, many think that to not give in, never give ground, or refuse to consider another point of view, must indeed be a sign of their strength.

In English, stubborn is synonymous with persevering and resolute.  But it is also synonymous with unyielding and headstrong.  In the Bible, stubborn is synonymous with rebellious.

For the sake of this discussion, since the word stubborn has a mostly negative connotation in our culture, let’s leave it at that.  And, the other side of the coin is strength, which is almost always used in a positive sense.

How Can You Tell?

So how can you tell if you are just being stubborn, or if you are manifesting your inner strength? In this context I would say being strong has much more to do with holding firmly to your moral and ethical principles than it does with methods and formulas.

For example, someone may utilize a certain formula for losing weight.  A stubborn person is defensive to any minute deviation from that formula.  A person of inner strength is not only willing to considers other options, but is also willing to admit if they have become too legalistic about the formula.

Many times this conflict actually keeps people from making a budget for their personal finances.  They are afraid once a budget is set, there can be absolutely no deviation from the plan.  The goal or the principle is to better steward the money you have; the method or formula can certainly be tweaked, and tweaked often, I might add.

I’m Not Going To Budge!

Holding fast to the method or formula overshadows the principle in many areas.  Personal growth and development, finances, politics, and religion are but a few arenas where people are quite stubborn about their formulas. Many times people mistake their stubbornness for strength.

I’m not against formulas or methods.  If it works, use it.  There are what others may call formulas and methods that I employ in my life.

I am against making a formula or method the only right way to achieve a goal or hold to a principle.  I think in doing so, you can lose sight of the principle.  For example, there are today many, many different methods or formulas for prayer.

Let Us Pray

I was taught at a young age the correct way to pray was to have your hands together with your fingers pointing up to heaven.  That is a method. Is it wrong?  No.

But if I don’t hold my hands in that fashion, can I still pray effectively?  What if I’m sitting on my hands, can I still pray to God and He hears me?  The principle or objective here is praying.

Some say you must kneel or bow when you pray.  Those are methods or formulas.  I might add, unless the Bible gives very clear and distinct instructions, then all the methods and formulas concerning spiritual matters are man made.

When it comes to holding fast or being firm, I hold fast to what I know is true from the Bible, unless someone can show me from the Scriptures a more accurate understanding.  When it comes to the rest of life, I try to listen, observe and learn, because I know being stubborn is really fear of being wrong.  And along the way I can learn new perspectives, and at times find formulas or methods that I can adapt for my life.

Mike Verdicchio
2013

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