As you and I know from experience, there are things in life that are not in our control. As we have in the past, we will in the future face some unpleasant situations that we do not directly bring upon ourselves. How we deal with those situations emotionally determines whether we move forward in our lives our not.

In his new book,  Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, John Maxwell wrote, “The number or severity of your losses isn’t as important as how you experience those losses. Yes, all losses hurt. And they make an impact on us, an impact that is rarely positive. Losses change us. But we must not allow them to control us. We can’t let the fear of looking silly or incompetent paralyze us. We can’t let the fear of negative consequences keep us from taking risks. Allowing negative experiences of the past to warp your future is like living in a coffin. It puts a lid on you and can end your life.”

I was talking to a dear friend recently and he reminded me of something: accepting that which you cannot change. People we know and love make their own choices and at times we do not agree with those choices; at times we know and believe the choices are wrong. But unless a person asks for help and guidance, what can you and I do about it? Nothing.

What Do I Do?

I can choose to be frustrated, angry, or very sad. I can carry the heavy mental weight of those emotions around with me day by day, wishing, wanting, and hoping the person will change. That is very frustrating, and it drains you physically and mentally.

A few weeks ago I posted an article called, Toxic Thoughts. In that article I wrote, “Thoughts of anger and bitterness are indeed toxic to our lives, and not just mentally. For example, the Bible talks about how bitterness affects our physical body.”

I included a quote from an article by Ian Fletcher: “When harboured for a long time, says Professor Wrosch, bitterness may forecast patterns of biological dysregulation (a physiological impairment that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function) and physical disease.” Our thoughts are in our control. There are things we all face in life that are not in our control. But the thoughts we choose to think and entertain day by day and moment by moment are of our own choosing.

For example, I may not agree with a certain law that is passed; I may even think it is wrong. But outside of praying for my country and exercising my right to vote, it is outside of my control. So it is up to me to decide where my thinking goes concerning that issue.

Accept It?

Regardless of the issue or situation, I must accept that which I cannot change. But do not confuse “accepting” with “agreeing.” There is a huge difference, and the main reason people are reluctant to accept something they cannot control is they feel by accepting it, they are somehow agreeing with it.

Actually, accepting something you cannot change or control mentally releases it; it lifts the mental weight of carrying a heavy burden. No, it is not easy, especially when it involves someone you love. And, then, on top of that, emotions are compounded if that person’s actions directly and personally affect you.

But we still have our own lives to live. Accepting does not mean agreeing, just as forgiving does not mean what someone did is right. But we must always remember that our own lives are directed by our own thoughts, and those thoughts are in our control.

It’s Your Life

We will all face challenges, disappointments, setbacks, and losses in our lives. At those junctures, we can choose to think thoughts that gender feelings of anger, bitterness, or frustrations, or we can choose other thoughts that will keep us moving forward. It may not be easy, but the thoughts we think are still our choices.

God wants us to live and enjoy our lives. But He is well aware and knows there are going to be bumps in the road along the way. That’s why He so lovingly, in a number of places in the scriptures, addresses our thinking.

We are told in the Bible to guard our heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life – our life! Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks; as he thinks in his heart, so is he; the power of life and death is in the tongue.

God cannot make us think the right thoughts just as we cannot make someone else think the right thoughts. But He gave us lots of direction in His Word about what thoughts will benefit us and help us to keep moving forward so we can enjoy this life. As always, the choice is ours.

Mike Verdicchio
2013

Don’t Be Shy – Leave A Comment!
Do you have some thoughts about this? We’d love to hear what you think. Just scroll to the bottom of this post and type in your comment. (If you are receiving this post via email or RSS, just click the title above and then scroll to the bottom of the post and type in your comment.)

You Might Also Enjoy:
Toxic Thoughts
Did You Set Your Sails This Morning? (Vide)
Sometimes You Win Part 2
Disappointments, Setbacks And Tragedies
You Are What You Think

Share This!
Do you want to share this on your website or Blog? To share on social media, like Facebook or Twitter, there are buttons below.

There’s More!
For past articles, click on the, “Posts” tab above. For past videos and podcasts, mouse over the “Posts” tab above. Look for more videos as well as more podcasts coming soon to Confidence And Joy!

Follow Me On Twitter!
https://twitter.com/#!/MikeAVerdicchio