What would you call an extremely religious man so committed to his beliefs that he goes about seeking to find and murder those who do not hold the same beliefs? A fanatical terrorist? It sounds a lot like the kind of things we hear going on today, but I’m actually talking about someone who lived quite some time ago.

I’m talking about a man whose mission in life was to seek and find Christians, arrest them, and then execute them. He was convinced he was doing “God’s work.” But in reality, he was responsible for murdering God’s children.

There was another man who pursued and developed a personal relationship with God, and God trusted him with great responsibility. He was given revelation to write much of the New Testament, including information about a great secret, which he was the first to know. He traveled most of the known world bringing people the good news concerning Jesus Christ.

The two men mentioned above are actually one and the same. His Greek name was Paul, and he is sometimes referred to as Saul, his Hebrew name. Prior to accepting Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God, and believing God raised him from the dead, Paul did some very awful things.

Before accepting Christ, Paul was a well respected leader in the Jewish faith. He was a Pharisee, educated by one of the best in his time, a man called Gamaliel. Paul was extremely committed to his beliefs, and very zealous.

He was working closely with the high priest in Jerusalem to confront and eliminate this new group, the followers of Jesus. Paul arrested many Christians, put them in prison, and had many of them executed. One of those executions involved a wonderful man of God named Stephen.

When most Christians think about Paul, they often think of the man who wrote most of the epistles in the New Testament. Paul himself tells us that what he wrote was revealed to Him; it wasn’t something he made up or just decided to do one day. God gave Paul His word, and Paul wrote what God wanted him to write so today you and I can read God’s Word.

For Paul to do something that godly, his personal relationship with God had to have been a very close one to say the least. And God must have thought pretty highly of Paul to reveal to him what He wanted written.

It’s stunning when you stop and think about it. For me, when I think about what Paul did in his past, it’s mind blowing to not only see where he ended up, but more importantly, to see God’s forgiveness of Paul.

After his conversion, did Paul have any issues to deal with? Did he have some “baggage” from his past? Or was the memory of all he did in his past just magically wiped away? Not hardly.

Did he have some history to overcome? Yes, he did. And so do we. How did he deal with it? It’s obvious God thought very highly of Paul, but what did Paul think of Paul?

God Did What?

There is no question that Paul did some awful things. But when he accepted Christ, God forgave Paul, completely and unconditionally.

After he was saved, Paul proceeded to pursue and develop a personal relationship with God. God then entrusted Paul to write the Scriptures, preach, and take care of His children!

It’s hard for me to think of anything worse than killing God’s children. That’s what Paul did. But God forgave Paul!

So, how big are my sins, your sins? Are they as horrendous as Paul’s? Has God not forgiven us too?

Thoughts and feelings of guilt, sin consciousness, condemnation, and shame link us with our ugly past. Those thoughts and feelings interfere with your relationship with God and keep you from trusting Him. They are detrimental to your confidence in God.

Why?

If you think God is disappointed in you and condemning you, how can you have confidence and trust Him? How open will you be in approaching Him? How worthy will you feel?

You can know all about how great and wonderful God is. You can know about His goodness, kindness and love, but why would He want to do anything for you? Who do you think you are, anyway? Paul could have chosen to live a life of condemnation for his past, but he didn’t.

How did he do it? He went from killing God’s family to being one of the greatest believers of all time. How did he get past all the guilt, sin consciousness, condemnation, and shame?

Paul wrote that it wasn’t right for him to even be called an apostle, but “by the grace of God, I am who I am.” Grace is undeserved favor. Paul understood God’s grace.

Paul refused to allow guilt, shame, sin consciousness or condemnation over his past to rule his life or define who he was. How did he do that? Can you really get rid of all the guilt and shame and sin consciousness and condemnation for something that big?

A Big Key

Here’s a big key: forgiveness from God has nothing to do with how sorry you are for what you’ve done, or promises you make to God to never do it again. We may say and feel those things, but it does nothing to bring us forgiveness.

We have forgiveness because Jesus Christ paid the price for all sins. When someone accepts Jesus as Lord of all men and believes God raised him from the dead, he receives salvation and forgiveness.

Paul had to consciously choose to accept God’s forgiveness. Forgiveness from God is God’s grace – something we cannot earn or deserve. That’s why he said, “by the grace of God, I am who I am.” It’s by the grace of God we are who we are!

It’s Your Choice

Life is all about choices. When we choose to accept God’s grace it will set us free. That’s what Paul did. He chose to forget about the things in the past. He chose to accept God’s grace and forgiveness.

When thoughts of his ugly past came to mind, Paul cast those thoughts down, he put them off, he laid them aside and replaced them with thoughts of who God said he was now. He chose to see himself as God saw him: holy, lovely, acceptable, forgiven, righteous, unblameable and unreproveable in His sight, all because of God’s grace.

I’m pretty sure this didn’t happen overnight. Paul took the time to make the transition to accept God’s forgiveness, and to think of himself not as who he was in the past, but rather who God made him to be. And then, he did his best every day to walk with God.

Was Paul perfect after he accepted Christ? No, and neither are we. We all have weaknesses and shortcomings.
But we can do what Paul wrote, “forgetting those things which are behind,” and accept God’s grace and forgiveness. Instead of looking at our imperfections, we can look at who God made us to be in the new birth.

That’s what Paul did. And if he could do it, after all the junk in his past, we can do it, too.

By the grace of God, I am who I am.