This past weekend I met for the second time with a young engaged couple for more pre marriage counseling. I will perform their wedding ceremony next March. After going over some of the actual details for their big day, I shared with them a five point plan for a strong marriage.
The last two points were to pray together every day, and talk to each other every day. That last one point may sound a bit silly, but I’ll explain in a minute. Meanwhile, praying together every day with your spouse is indeed a great habit that will strengthen your marriage.
Talking To God
If you are a fan of the Bible then you know there is a lot in there about prayer. We are encouraged to let God know our requests. We are invited to cast all our cares on Him because He cares for us. Jesus said that we ought to always pray and not faint.
So, in our personal lives, in our personal relationship with God, we spend private time with Him, talking to Him and opening up our hearts to Him. We not only praise Him and thank Him for all He has done for us, and pray for others, but we also let Him know the requests we have. Talking to God each day, throughout the day, helps to build our personal relationship with Him.
I encouraged the young couple to be prayer partners and pray together, just the two of them, every day. Jesus talked about two agreeing together and then asking the Father for what they desired. Since these two young people are getting married and proceeding down a path to becoming one, praying together every day will not only become a special time together for them, but going to God together as prayer partners will build a spiritual bond.
Talking To Each Other
The final point I covered was talking together every day, which at first may sound silly. Well of course they’ll talk together every day; they’ll be seeing each other every day. My point was to talk about heart issues every day, not just the weather and what’s for dinner tonight.
If a husband is going to tell his wife some personal things, and vice versa, they have to trust each other. I wouldn’t tell my wife something personal if I thought she would be out tomorrow telling her friends what a lame idea I had. Truth is, I can share anything with Kathy and know it is safe; it’s between she and I. Proverbs says, “The heart of her husband does safely trust in her.”
This kind of trust between a man and a woman takes time to grow and develop, just like our own personal relationship with God takes time to grow and develop. The first point of this five point plan I shared with them was developing their own personal relationship with God. I happen to think that is the most important thing in any Christian’s life.
The second point I covered was to love your spouse with the love of God; make it your mission in life to love your spouse with the love of God like no one ever has or will. There is a lot in the Bible about how Christians are to love one another. Jesus said, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another. If the Bible says so much about loving our fellow Christians, then what about loving our spouses?
So, if I love my spouse with God’s love, I respect and protect her personal, heart issues. In doing that my spouse will trust me knowing what she says is safe with me. And in doing so, the bond between the two of us only grows stronger and stronger.
What Was #3?
By the way, in case you’re wondering, the third point of this five point plan was about guarding your thoughts, refusing to entertain thoughts that are contrary to the Scriptures. That’s pretty obvious for many things, but other situations may not be so obvious. Being a spiritual person doesn’t mean to pretend that everything is just peachy when it’s not. Circumstances come up in everyone’s lives, and some are unpleasant, but we must get to a solution.
In a marriage it is important, especially in those times of difficult and unpleasant circumstances, to guard your mind and look for solutions. Thoughts of anger, resentment or ingratitude do nothing more than keep you focused on the problem and they keep you from being a part of the solution. On the other hand, being part of the solution is putting your thoughts and trust in God, because He always has solutions.
I hope the information I shared with them will be helpful; ultimately it will be up to the two of them to build their marriage together. I hope some of these brief snippets from what I shared with them added something to your life. And, of course, I realize there are lots of valuable points one could share about building a strong marriage, but these five are pretty good ones.
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