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Be yourself. Books are written about it. Methods are taught about it. Many self help speeches include something about it.

It seems logical to me that if I’m going to be true to myself, I need to know who I am, right? Okay, let’s pause here for a second. This is really a very broad topic; I’m going to give three points for consideration.

I understand living my own life not pleasing others, being true to myself regardless of what others think. I try to live my biblically based Christian values and ethics regardless of what others think. Part of “who I am” is being a Christian, but that is my choice.

Being married is also my choice, and therefore there are things I do, and do not do, that are being true to who I am as a married man. Even though I was born in the United States, my citizenship is still a choice; I could move to another country and change my citizenship, and be true to being a citizen of that country.

Choices

My first point is about choices. There are any number of things we choose to do, or choose to be, that make up who we are. Being true to your good choices is admirable. But what about bad choices?

A person could choose to be dishonest in business. A dishonest businessman could say, “I am a ruthless businessman, this is how I’ve always made my money, and I must be true to myself.” Is that admirable?

There are lots of choices we make that become part of who we are. So, simply saying, “It’s right and admirable to be true to who you are,” is not always justified, is it?

Personality

Have you ever heard someone say, “Look, I get angry easily; it’s just how I am?” In talking to someone with that kind of personality, I would never say, “Be true to who you are, regardless of what anyone else thinks.” That would be poor advice.

You’ve probably heard people with disgusting personalities say things like, “This is just who I am.” I’ve heard people with a pretty foul mouth, regardless of who’s in the room, echo the same sentiments. Do I then think it’s a good idea for them to be true to who they are?

Associations

My third point is about how associations influence who we become. Who we spend time with has a real impact on choices we make. The Bible teaches that evil associations will corrupt good morals; the opposite is also true.

The year before I got married, my closest friend was a thief. No, he didn’t rob banks, but he always stole something from every store he visited. I was amazed he never got caught, and I told him he needed to quit stealing things. He laughed, being true to himself.

I was raised not to steal, period. But the longer I hung out with him, the more I considered that I could get away with it, too. Lucky for me I soon married a wonderful girl who was also raised not to steal, and my time with my so called friend diminished greatly.

The people you surround yourself with will have an influence on your life. They will either be a positive influence, or a negative influence. You will then make choices, good choices or bad choices, but choices nevertheless. So, again, saying, “It’s right and admirable to be true to who you are” is not always justified, is it?

Big Problem Today

In our world today there seems to be less and less personal accountability and responsibility for one’s attitudes, actions or choices. It seems that no matter what kind of attitudes or actions people have or do, it is either classified as a disorder, or it is said the person was “born that way.” Whatever it is called, it indicates people have no choice, so, they might as well be true to themselves.

As I mentioned earlier, being true to oneself is a very broad topic. On the negative side, being true to oneself can be an excuse to do things that are not right. On the other hand, there are are some great benefits to being who you are and not what people want you to be or who they think you should be. So, I’ll just end with, being true to yourself is not always admirable, is it?

Mike Verdicchio
2014

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